i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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