eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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