had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day â¤ï¸
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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