i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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