So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
