i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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