Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
