make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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