I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
