She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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