If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
