'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
