I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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