I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
