I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
