I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
