I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
