people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
