If that was your dad, he is hot
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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