I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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