i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
babies were throwing up all over the place
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
