She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
