Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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