I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
