they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
