she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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