This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
