Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
