Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
