turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
