i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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