Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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