did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
