one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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