it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
