yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Dick very happy bro
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