When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
