You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
