one might say we're banned from that church
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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