I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
