I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
