I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
