She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
