making cat noises will not fix the situation.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
