So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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