Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
