No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
