just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
