Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
