i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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